"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."
Proverbs 31:25
"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."
Proverbs 31:30
"She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."
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My little cousin dragged me today into a jewelry store for this rosary bracelet. I was surprised that she bought it as her early birthday present for me. (^_^)
I am on a journey where I only have LOVE, HOPE and FAITH in my pocket. Whenever I look at my mother trying to fight the pain of cancer I tell myself that all the things we have in this world is nothing. My father always tell me that rich and poor people are equal when they die. Nobody can't bring whatever they have here on earth when they are already 6 feet below the ground. I think what he is trying to tell me is that we live to love not we love to live. We don't need a lot of money or luxurious stuffs to show our love. LIFE is a gift from God and we live to bless others not to cause them pain. It is not what we get but it is what we can give. Nobody is perfect but every morning reminds us it is not too late to be a better person. "I give not because I have much but because I know exactly how it feels to have nothing." In this journey called life, there are struggles you have to go through. I am so blessed that in this hard battle that my family is facing I am taught that one of the weapons you have to bring is ACCEPTANCE. I accept the fact that we are all going to leave this world, there is no exception. I thank our Father in heaven for giving me strength and courage, I could still manage to smile and have a good laugh because God has been so good for showing us who our real friends are. I learned to keep them who really touch our lives. For me, you are angels sent from above. I want to sincerely say thank you to those people who are keep praying and making efforts to remind us that we are LOVED. "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing; so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation." I saw this one man with his daughter at the Church last night. The man looks like in 40's while her daughter was only about 2 to 3 years old. His kid was kinda hyper, she was kept running around and the dad kept chasing after her. It would be look great to see the man of my dreams and our kid together like them. That was a wonderful scene in my eyes actually, then I suddenly remember how Dad took care of me since when I was a little kid. Even he was busy working he still had time to take me out. He used to take me at the mall & at the park with mom, watch me biking around the street and let me fall into the ditch (seriously (>..<)). At this age, he still shows me how much a father can sacrifice for his child. Whenever I go out, he texts me and wait for me until I get home. He even brought me an umbrella and a pair of rain boots at work when it was raining so hard. He always remind me that I should always have to look back to the people who are always there for me, that I should always give and not be selfish. I remember when he told me that after 12 years of waiting to have their own child, he prayed to Lord Jesus to have a daughter like me and He gave me.
DAD: Is there a Happy Daughter's Day? ME: Nope, why? DAD: Because I want to know if I'm still be the one who's gonna wash the dishes instead of you if there is. LOL Happy Father's Day to the one and only man in my life! I love you & mom so much. Thank you for everything, for loving me & mom, for not giving up on us in times like this when we need you most. I will always thank God for giving me a Dad like you. (^_^) Just because you sent me a long heart warming text message on my birthday, I think it's my turn this time...
Dear. Nurse Sherwin aka Shino aka FWEND, I just would like you to know that I am so thankful to have a friend like you. Who is always there for me, who has always been my fashion critic, who has always been my photographer and who has always been my Starbucks Partner. 6 pretty long years of friendship and you are still there for me, I believe that you are not just my best friend but a brother bear. Thank you for always listening to me and for giving me courage to face all the problems that I'm going through. Don't worry about other people who make you feel bad sometimes, you don't have to please everybody, just be yourself and continue to have respect to others and to yourself. I'm always here for you and your other TRUE friends. Cheer up! God is good, He knows what we need in this life. ~~P.S. ~~ I'll follow what you have told me that I have to get a man & get married at 25 HAHAHA! I LOVE YOU! MUAH! TSUP! TSUP! Love Lot's Em-Em (^_^) So because of my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) that really made me feel sick & look like a real vampire during these past few months. I decided to follow what my OB Gynecologist's order that I have to take hormonal pills for 63 days followed by exercise and diet. I still eat rice but of course not much like I used to, I do belly dancing (The Shimmy) for 30 minutes everyday. DETERMINATION is the word that's why I lost 16 pounds in 2 months. From 136 it fell down to 120, not bad eh? If it wasn't because of me being sick I wouldn't try hard to lose weight, I love who I am and I don't need to be hot and sexy. I love food!!! But I'm loving me being skinny right now, I think that's enough I don't want to be anorexic though. Thank you PCOS now, I'm healthy again. =)
Saturday Night @ Church with my Sister In Christ Easter! =) But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD'S love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children. Psalms 103:17 It's been a while since the last time I wrote a blog. I took a one day leave from work today to accompany my parents at the hospital in Manila. My mom had her second Chemotherapy session today, it started at around 9:30 am. I was so cold & bored, the hospital has no WiFi and that sucks. At around 2:15 pm my dad called me outside to eat and I left my mom & the nurse just started to run her second drug. It took me only 10 minutes to eat and mom is having signs of rashes, gasping for breath, weakness, paleness, and confusion... The nurses and doctors rushed into the room and gave mom's first aid; oxygen, & Benadryl. I know she was having Anaphylactic Shock, it is a severe & most dangerous allergic reaction in the body that can be fatal. Doctors, nurses & dad were calling her but she wasn't opening her eyes. She passed out, & she had no blood pressure for like 5 minutes. I was so nervous & shaking, but I stayed calm, I closed my eyes & held the cross of the rosary bracelet I'm wearing that one of my closest friends gave me for Christmas & prayed, "Jesus, I still need my mom." She suddenly opened her eyes and got stabilized and we went home on the same day. I trust the Lord with all my heart, and I know He's always there for me & never fail me to make me feel His presence, anytime & everywhere I go, He's always there. I know He'll never let me go. "Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. " Matthew 8:8 "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:16 Why does my best friend calls me NAM? Well, that name was from the movie Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Thai Movie), where a high school girl got a crush on a popular guy in the school. We saw that film like 5 months ago and it was really catchy, because of the setting and the characters, like it happened to me years ago. I use that name when I go to Starbucks and when the Barista asks my name, I say Nam just for fun though. XD
It's 10:34 pm, I just got home and I am effin tired. I just wasted long hours again for nothing. I am happy but I am more sad. You know what's in my head? These ?????????? I'm not asking but those question marks are like maggots spreading and making noise inside my mind. What? When? Why? Why? Why? People think I am strong. Well, I am strong! But they don't know that there is weakness in me. You may see me smile and make me laugh but I just know how to hide the pain inside. I just have to maximize the happy sound, for you not to hear the sad sound that I make. I thought that the only thing for you to be heart broken is by losing someone but I was wrong. Being broken hearted could have many reasons like losing job, losing stuffs, and etc. I wanna give up! If only my body is like a computer which you can just click to shut it down and you can power on when you wanna use it again. I would cry a river if it could just relieve the pain. I would dance in the rain if it could just wash away all of my heartaches. I wanna live my life but it seems like my life doesn't want to let me live. I don't blame You, I never will. I just hope that You can give me a hint of what do You want for me. I know You want the best for me and I hope You won't get tired to help me. You're the only one I trust, you are my savior and my life.
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