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Self Diagnosis "Life has ups and downs"

6/10/2010

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I slept lastnight early like around 8pm because I was feeling so upset. I had wounded feet because of my crappy stilletos. I even had to walk on my tiptoes and bought a new pair of flat comfy slippers at the mall. I got stye on my right upper lid eye and had to warm compress it 3 times a day for 15 minutes. It's really itchy and I was thinking if how could I attend a job interview with this thing in my eye. I know I can wear glasses but it's really awkward to be interviewed wearing those. And the most bad thing happened that really upset me is my favorite toy. My laptop is broken. I tried to watch this Glee DVD on my laptop it got stuck up. I removed the CD and forced shutdown my laptop but when I opened it. It was looking for boot disk. I was keep on thinking how to fix it on my own because parents won't give me money for it to get fixed. My friend Jaycee came yesterday and brought her laptop. It was also broken and she was looking for somebody who could fix it. I was like "what a coincidence". I woke up around 8am today. I was feeling so depressed and I want to sleep more but my cousin hit me on the leg and said "Wake up"! I got up and went downstairs, had my breakfast, turned on my desktop computer and looked at my laptop disappointedly. I checked on my hotmail, yahoo mail, and facebook then had my lunch and slept again for 3 hours. I had the yuckiest and grossest dream ever. I dreamed of a man trying to push hard the shit out of him and people were stalking him trying to check on his poop for a ring. I told my mom about my dream and she said that it means "Money". I was like "Yeah, Dad just gave me my allowance and that's really money, I think". But what about the ring? Hmmm... Maybe that is my engagement ring from my imaginary fiance. Eeeewwww (LOL) Anyway, I don't know why I feel so depressed today. My cousin knows why I am feeling this way. She said I am over pressured for reaching people's expectations. I even diagnosed myself having a Dysthymic Disorder. Probably, because I'm having its symptoms. Hypersomnia, feeling of worthlessness and loneliness. Well, it feels I'm going to be crazy but I know I am not. Maybe, I'm just unlucky this year.       

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