Love is Traumatic
(May 6, 2010)
I hate this feeling. I want to love and be loved but why I can't do it now? Am I the problem? Am I being so numb and selfish? Why am I feeling this way? I'm getting tired. I know I shouldn't think that they are all the same but it feels like no man will love me back. I'm ready to give someone a chance but it feels like there something's missing. It feels like that history will repeat to itself. I've been single for almost 3 months now and all I can say is I am totally moved on and I am ready to love again, but why am I feeling so scared? I was reading one of my blog posts. I just realized that 3 of my exes did the same thing to me. If you were gonna ask me what is love. I would say that LOVE IS TRAUMATIC. God knows how I really wanted to be happy on Valentine's Day and on my Birthday with the someone I love. It seems like I'm cursed or something. I can't explain what I feel right now, it's like I want to hide forever and protect my heart. It feels like I won't be happy in a relationship. It feels like I have no right to be loved back. I'm so confused.I'm so lost! It's hard to love alone. I hope one day someone will love me like the way I do and help me find myself back.